Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony

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In recent times, there has been a growing trend of building homes with private outdoor

spaces

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such

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as gardens, yards, or balconies. In my opinion,

this

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trend brings many advantages, including providing a

space

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for pets,

hobbies

Correct word choice

and hobbies

show examples

, and enhancing environmental sustainability.

However

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, it

also

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presents some challenges,

such

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as reduced indoor living

space

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and the additional time required for maintenance.

Firstly

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while

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outdoor

spaces

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offer numerous benefits, they often come at the cost of reduced indoor living

space

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For instance

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, a home with a garden or balcony may have a smaller interior area compared to a

similarly

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priced home without outdoor

space

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Additionally

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, maintaining these outdoor

areas

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can be time-consuming. Homeowners need to regularly clean their balconies or tend to their gardens, which can be a significant responsibility, particularly for those with busy schedules.

As a result

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, some people may need to increase their budget to expand indoor living

areas

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or hire help to maintain their outdoor

spaces

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On the other hand

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, having a private outdoor

space

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offers considerable advantages. It provides a place where residents can enjoy fresh air, host social gatherings, or engage in outdoor hobbies

such

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as gardening or sports.

Moreover

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, these

spaces

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are ideal for keeping pets, offering them a safe and enjoyable environment. Beyond personal benefits, private outdoor

areas

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also

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contribute positively to the environment. By planting trees and greenery, homeowners can help increase green

spaces

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in urban

areas

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, which can reduce the effects of climate change and partially offset the environmental damage caused by deforestation. In conclusion, I believe that the trend of building new homes with private outdoor

spaces

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is more advantageous

overall

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While

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there are some drawbacks,

such

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as reduced indoor

space

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and the need for maintenance, the benefits to individuals and the environment far outweigh these challenges. Encouraging the inclusion of outdoor

spaces

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in urban homes can lead to healthier living conditions and a more sustainable future.

Submitted by thitiwatkem on Tue Aug 20 2024

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task achievement

While the essay offers a clear and comprehensive response to the task, incorporating more specific examples or statistics could further strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to vary sentence structure and ensure seamless transitions between ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-rounded discussion, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported with relevant explanations and examples, making the arguments persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. Many others prefer to work for a small company first. What are the different advantages in each decision?