Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony

In recent times, there has been a growing trend of building homes with private outdoor

spaces

such

as gardens, yards, or balconies. In my opinion,

this

trend brings many advantages, including providing a

space

for pets,

hobbies

Correct word choice

and hobbies

show examples

, and enhancing environmental sustainability.

However

, it

also

presents some challenges,

such

as reduced indoor living

space

and the additional time required for maintenance.

Firstly

while

outdoor

spaces

offer numerous benefits, they often come at the cost of reduced indoor living

space

For instance

, a home with a garden or balcony may have a smaller interior area compared to a

similarly

priced home without outdoor

space

Additionally

, maintaining these outdoor

areas

can be time-consuming. Homeowners need to regularly clean their balconies or tend to their gardens, which can be a significant responsibility, particularly for those with busy schedules.

As a result

, some people may need to increase their budget to expand indoor living

areas

or hire help to maintain their outdoor

spaces

On the other hand

, having a private outdoor

space

offers considerable advantages. It provides a place where residents can enjoy fresh air, host social gatherings, or engage in outdoor hobbies

such

as gardening or sports.

Moreover

, these

spaces

are ideal for keeping pets, offering them a safe and enjoyable environment. Beyond personal benefits, private outdoor

areas

also

contribute positively to the environment. By planting trees and greenery, homeowners can help increase green

spaces

in urban

areas

, which can reduce the effects of climate change and partially offset the environmental damage caused by deforestation. In conclusion, I believe that the trend of building new homes with private outdoor

spaces

is more advantageous

overall

While

there are some drawbacks,

such

as reduced indoor

space

and the need for maintenance, the benefits to individuals and the environment far outweigh these challenges. Encouraging the inclusion of outdoor

spaces

in urban homes can lead to healthier living conditions and a more sustainable future.

Submitted by thitiwatkem on Tue Aug 20 2024

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task achievement

While the essay offers a clear and comprehensive response to the task, incorporating more specific examples or statistics could further strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to vary sentence structure and ensure seamless transitions between ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-rounded discussion, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported with relevant explanations and examples, making the arguments persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact to society?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Young people in wealthy countries often take a 'gap year' between high school and university in order to spend time travelling abroad. This is an excellent way for teenagers to prepare for their future lives. To what extent do you agree with the statement?

Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people’s life, but artists are still valued high such as musicians, painters and writers.What can the arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?