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Writing Samples
Band 6

n many countries around the world, it is common for families to run their own business. Some people think that keeping the business within the family is the best approach while other believe this could lead to problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#n #countries #world #families #business #people #approach
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It has become a common practice to start a family
business
 these days. some
people
 believe that starting a
business
 with
the
Correct article usage
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family members is a good option because
people
 trust their families and there would be fewer chances of fraud,
while
 others think that
this
 can cause certain issues
,
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 if any loss is observed, so
this
 can cause conflict between relations. I will discuss both views with relevant examples and I will give my opinion as well in
this
 essay. The foremost reason given by the
people
 with the former opinion is that it is extremely essential to include trustworthy
people
 as your
business
 partners because there would be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 chances of fraud in the
profit
.
For instance
, one of my friends
,
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 started importing and exporting, for which he included his cousins, as it was risky to higher others because
people
 can fool you easily when it comes to
profit
.
on the other hand
, the
people
 with the latter opinion gave the justification that, starting any project with close relatives can cause problems in the relationships, if there is any loss in the project, or if the
profit
 percentages are not equally split between the individuals, so
this
 can develop a rift between brothers and they may part ways. To illustrate, my uncle opened a store, in which he gave major authority to his brother,
however
,
due to
 a sudden massive decline in
profit
, they developed trust issues between them and eventually parted ways.
To conclude
, starting a
business
 with relatives is a very brilliant idea these days, if they are experts and have good traits, because it is rare to find
such
people
 these days,
however
, if certain unexpected events occur, with devastating effects on the
business
 so
this
 will ruin the bond among blood relations. I think, it is significant to start combined work, with crystal clear duties and paperwork, everything should be documented properly to prevent mishaps and hatred among loved ones.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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task achievement
Ensure that every paragraph clearly supports the argument presented in the topic sentence. Some assertions, particularly in the second body paragraph, could be supported with more specific examples and analysis.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure transition phrases are consistently used to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, directly addressing the question prompt.
relevant specific examples
Each viewpoint is addressed with examples, such as the instance of the friend's business decision.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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