IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question on whether the teenagers should be gifted with
money
Use synonyms
 or not have always been argued. There are valid explanations for either side,
Linking Words
however in
Accept comma addition
however, in
 my view, the present is a token of love and surprise which should be expressed through the way other than
money
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some believe that
money
Use synonyms
 is the best gift to support the teenagers. To elaborate, as per need teenagers can use it for their studies by buying a laptop, online video lectures, pay their student debt or their monthly rental bills.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, teenagers learn how to spend it efficiently and develop
money
Use synonyms
 management skills.
However
Linking Words
, under the peer pressure, they can use it in buying the unnecessary things
such
Linking Words
 as branded clothes, shoes or on alcoholic beverages by partying together.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some think that there are several other ways to gift their teenagers.
For instance
Linking Words
, adolescents are under the lot of pressure to outperform in their degree courses and grab a good job position. So, they can be helped by providing them emotional and moral support along with funding their education. In some cases, parents are so tightly packed with their busy work schedule that they don’t have time for their family.
Hence
Linking Words
, spending leisure time with them is one of the best gifts which will help in strengthening the family bond of unity and harmony. To recapitulate, I opine that
money
Use synonyms
 cannot buy everything and teenagers should not be spoiled by giving monetary gifts. A strong family bond with a good moral support is the best gift for them to become a good human being.
Submitted by Man Kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: