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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts

It is thought that traditional cultures
such
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 as eating together among family members are fading out. Since technology and overworking have taken a huge part in
this
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 situation, many negative influences have been appearing. There are several reasons for the above. The main one is increasing using technology at unprecedented rates. Nowadays, many individuals isolate themselves at home by spending most of their spare
time
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 on social media, and they make contact with their families and relatives through apps
such
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 as WhatsApp and Viber.
As a result
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, they do not go and see each other face-to-face and have dinner as they used to . In past centuries, before occupying our lives with gadgets, families spent most of their
time
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 together when they were free. Another reason is that the demand for money today has significantly increased
due to
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this
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 capitalist world. Many households work for longer hours in order to have
high
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a high
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 income to purchase luxury cars, go on vacation, and mimic celebrities by doing plastic surgeries.
Consequently
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, they do not have enough
time
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 to see their families and spend
time
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 together.
This
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 situation has affected
people
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 dreadfully, senior citizens
in particular
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. The first harmful impact is that eroding
this
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 cultural family tradition may influence
people
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's mental health and self-esteem negatively. When a person spends most of their
time
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 alone, they may face many mental problems
such
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 as depression and anxiety. Research has shown that those who are more social are more happier. The second impact is that when
people
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 today visit elderly
people
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 less as they need more closeness than the young ones, they may
also
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 suffer many health issues. In conclusion, many reasons are caused
of
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by
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the disappearing eating together tradition and
this
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 condition may affect
people
Use synonyms
's mental health.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detail and supporting examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and flows logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and clarity to enhance your overall message.
task achievement
You have identified the main issues affecting family meal traditions well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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