IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

ome say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#ome #opportunity
Some individuals believe that people who are wealthy should help to others
such
 that it has been the most principle features of being rich person.
Although
 rich persons can help charities or orphanages, I strongly disagree with that it is a duty of wealthy persons to help others. There are some reasons why helping others by affluent individuals is not always important.
First
 of all, if moneyed persons try to help poor people in a community,
this
 activity causes to create an incorrect belief in the community. Most people who are weak financial persons do not try to attain wealth, even they sometimes do not any works to afford their needs since these people know always there are someone to support their life. So, laziness will be common in the culture.
Secondly
, another reason why helping reach people is not useful is it affects adversely on young and teenager thoughts. They will not attempt to reach a comfortable life in their entire lives because they have adequate money for different situations by well-off persons.
On the other hand
, assist of rich people cause some difficulties in their own lives.
For example
, if rich people accept, they have the opportunity to aid others, there will not a person who wealthier than their selves to give assistance to them when they face a big financial problem.
Moreover
, when well-off persons consider that they try to gain more money, but they should pay that money to needy persons while poor people do not any work for their life, they will lose hardworking property and
finally
this
 will have a long-term negative economic consequence of a society.
Therefore
, the society will change a low-income country day-by-day. In conclusion, it is good idea that wealthy persons to help orphanages or other people without any home and job, I think it should not be a duty for affluent persons because it causes some difficulties in their lives and the society.
Submitted by Baran B on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: