Multicultural societies in which there are a mixture of ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Diversity in cultures and society is very essential for healthy and happy relationships in any civilization. People living in societies with huge varieties of culture, traditions, and languages attain certain qualities which may not be seen in mono-cultural ones. I believe

this

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has a lot of advantages and no disadvantages. The greatest advantage of

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by living in a diverse environment, They are more aware of religious practices, food, clothing, and language of people of different ethnicities, which tend for them to have not only the quality of tolerance towards others but

also

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more accommodating and welcoming than people who have never experienced these cultures. India,

for instance

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, has accepted people of different cultural backgrounds

such

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as Iranians, Europeans, Mughals, and Arabs and they have easily mixed with the native population.

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makes India an example of unity in diversity and peaceful coexistence.

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, countries with various ethnic groups have the privilege to enjoy different festivals

such

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as Diwali, Eid, and Christmas which bring them together to celebrate.

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, unity is reinforced at these occasions, even if any bitterness existed before. People

also

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enjoy different dresses in a multicultural nation which again act as a binding force among masses.

Also

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, the diversity of food is a source of social cohesion among multiple ethnic groups.

For example

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, many restaurants in Goa serve Punjabi, Jain, Western, Italian, Thai, Continental, and Chinese foods.

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allows people of different ethnic groups to place at one place and enjoy meals.

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builds a sense of unity in society. In conclusion, I would like to reaffirm my stand in favour of multicultural societies and the benefits they offer over a single ethnic group. Undoubtedly, there will be some conflict (should have explained conflict as a disadvantage. See changes in the introduction.),

however

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, it is a part every public, multi or mono-cultural.

Submitted by linh phan on Thu Jun 18 2020

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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Multicultural societies in which there are a mixture of ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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