The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

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In many countries, government spending on healthcare is a major economic burden. Problems like obesity and heart disease are crippling healthcare systems, and some
people
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suggest that rather than raise taxes to pay for treatments, more money should be invested in preventing these illnesses in the first place.
This
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essay will argue that prevention is better than treatment. The most obvious benefit of putting prevention before treatment is the reduction in human suffering that would inevitably result. Some of the biggest health problems in modern societies are utterly preventable, and
therefore
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it is reasonable to suggest that money spent
this
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way would cause less anguish. Government campaigns to reduce smoking would reduce cancer rates and
this
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would increase
people
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’s quality of life, and of
course
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course,
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end the suffering of
people
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who lose loved ones. From a purely financial standpoint, it is beneficial to focus on preventing sickness rather than curing it. The cost of treating sick
people
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with expensive medical procedures, equipment, and medicines is vastly higher than the cost of educating
people
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not to smoke, eat unhealthily, or
otherwise
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lead unhealthy lifestyles. Government campaigns have led to huge decreases in smoking in many Western countries, and it is likely that similar campaigns would yield similar results
elsewhere
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. An additional benefit would be the lowering of taxes
due to
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reduced expenditure on healthcare. In conclusion, preventing a disease makes more sense than waiting to treat it. The benefits to average
people
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and
also
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to governments are significantly higher than simply investing in treatments.
Submitted by kk1994 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, mention specific government campaigns or studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of prevention.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and well-structured response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a strong opening and closure.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically progresses through the argument, making it easy to follow.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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