IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the public health is degrading drastically and it will become more unhealthy in the future. I completely agree with the said statement because of the increasing level of stress and pollution.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there will be more stress in the future with compare to the present level of stress and people will rarely share their feelings and problems with family and friends.
For example
Linking Words
, according to the Times of India newspaper, depression rate in youngster is at peak and it will be ten times higher in near future.
As a result
Linking Words
, tends to commit suicide will increase.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is a well known fact that air and water pollution affects our health and due to extreme use of vehicle and industries, it will rise for sure. Due to
this
Linking Words
, most of the populace will suffer from breathing and mental disorder.
For instance
Linking Words
, I had no issue of breathing in my childhood because Air Quality Index (AQI) at that time was below 100, which comes in good categories.
However
Linking Words
, now I am a patient of bronchitis and the doctor concluded
this
Linking Words
as a result
Linking Words
 of severe pollution. In contradiction, there is an argument that technological improvement in gymnasium equipment will encourage everyone to do exercise.
Besides
Linking Words
, innovation in fitness tracking equipment
such
Linking Words
 as smart watch with step counter and heart rate monitoring facilities will become more popular. Still, these will attract the
next
Linking Words
 generation for the short span of time and it will be not sufficient to maintain robust lifestyle. To conclude, more deterioration and stressful work culture will lead us to illness. Even technological improvement in physical activities related gadgets will fail to motivate people to be physically fit.
Submitted by rahulmsgermany on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: