IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch,
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
,
school
Use synonyms
, and daily
life
Use synonyms
 is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same time that most
people
Use synonyms
 are interested in daily. In the recent time,
this
Linking Words
 point is important.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
,
school
Use synonyms
, and daily
life
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
. There are some distinctive benefits of
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
,
school
Use synonyms
 and daily
life
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
 motivates
people
Use synonyms
 to do their best in their workplace or
school
Use synonyms
. There have been immense advances in
competition
Use synonyms
 in most aspects of the lives of
people
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is active in all spheres of
society
Use synonyms
. Individuals believe in the role of
competition
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
. It will impact in a positive way.
Second,
Linking Words
when
people
Use synonyms
 are in
competition
Use synonyms
, they explore and discover themselves. I
work
Use synonyms
 as a host aviation, and I understand that
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and in daily
life
Use synonyms
 is very necessary for
people
Use synonyms
. When I travel to several countries, I discover the importance of
competition
Use synonyms
 in their societies.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
,
school
Use synonyms
 and daily
life
Use synonyms
 can have a positive effect on the environment. A new study from London University shows that the employees who did a
competition
Use synonyms
 in the workplace for their employer have the best environment
work
Use synonyms
, and their employer performance becomes better every year than the other
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
 that did not do any
competition
Use synonyms
. On the other side, there are many negatives. One of them is that
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 or
school
Use synonyms
 may cause feuds there. The facts in
this
Linking Words
 field have proven that it has an impact on
society
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and
school
Use synonyms
 or in daily
life
Use synonyms
 may influence in a negative way to other
people
Use synonyms
 in the same
competition
Use synonyms
. Some important researches prove that it regularly causes dangerous problems. These are the major reasons why a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 go to other options.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
,
school
Use synonyms
, and daily
life
Use synonyms
 has brought many benefits to
society
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is likely to produce many negative effects soon, but
people
Use synonyms
 cannot stop depending on it.
Submitted by walkuwari11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to be more specific and clear about your main points and support them with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each paragraph contributes something unique to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both views on competition and cooperation.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples from your personal experiences, such as your work as a host in aviation, to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: