Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world

Thanks to technological progress,

information

plays a more important role than it used to be in modern times. Some said that it should be

Suggestion

shared

as much as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world.

Nevertheless

, others think that some data cannot be shared freely since it is too important or too valuable. In my opinion,

society

can be benefited by sharing data in different fields.

However

, if we

some important

information

, it will cause trouble to our

society

. For starters, sharing

information

can benefit our world in many ways.

First

of all, people can combine the it from different fields and create new ways to apply.

For instance

, scientists can use

environment

Suggestion

environmental

data and agricultural data to predict the food price, so that the government can apply some policies to mitigate poverty and famine issues.

Moreover

, researchers can work more efficiently due to sharing

information

. They do not need to do the same research to get the data, since these are public. If the

information

can be

Suggestion

shared

to everyone, it can benefit our

society

and make it be more efficient.

However

, some important

information

should not be shared in public. It may hurt the particular organization or individual, if their important data

is shared

Suggestion

are shared

For example

, if a restaurant's special recipes are shared to

public

Suggestion

the public

, its competitors will copy it. So that, these restaurants will lose feature. In the result, no restaurants want to develop

new recipe

Suggestion

new recipes

a new recipe

This

phenomenon can

also

happen in other fields, not just happen in restaurants. As the result, If we

all

information

, even include the valuable one, it will make our

society

has no motivate to create something new. In conclusion, sharing

information

can make our

society

more efficient.

However

, it can reduce innovation, if we

the important or too valuable data

Suggestion

public.

Submitted by 莊曉薇 on Mon Jun 29 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

information sharing
scientific research
business
academic world
advancement of knowledge
progress
collaboration
cross-disciplinary research
open access
democratization of information
transparency
credibility
intellectual property
security concerns
commercial interests

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