homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?
Homelessness increases in several big
cities
around the world. In my perspective, the main reasons that affect this
problem
are urbanisation
and lack of knowledge
, and it should be solved.
Nowadays, people
are eager to go to metropolitan cities
for a better living. However
, if the urbanisation
activities are executed massively, it will result in a vital problem
: homelessness, in which many people
don’t have shelter to live. This
condition is due to
the lack of rules focusing on city
planning, so individuals from the countryside freely move to cities
without any preparation. For instance
, everyone dreams hanging their lives in Jakarta because they envisage that there are many jobs available. Meanwhile, there is no specific rule that provides jobs. So, people
who have been there will do anything to continue their lives, such
as sleeping on sidewalks or, in a different case, behaving harmful ways for money
. The second problem
is individuals who want to move to big cities
have limited knowledge
and problem
solving on managing money
. This
issue leads to a serious problem
since people
will be trapped in bad impacts such
as debt and criminalisation. This
case has been happening in several cities
in the world. As a result
, the city
safeness will be questioned.
The problem
can be solved in two ways: first,
by limiting urbanisation
and promoting another city
to citizens so they can find an alternative city
to live. Second,
by equipping citizens with economic knowledge
, which can overcome the problem
. Government can facilitate socialisation in some small towns in order to make people
aware of how important knowledge
is, especially about managing money
before moving to big cities
.
In conclusion, the problem
of homeless people
increasing in cities
is a result of urbanisation
that is
not well managed and people
awareness of managing money
. However
, if the solution mentioned can be implemented by the government, I believe it can bring a bright future to the citizens.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your thesis; proceed with body paragraphs (each with a single main idea and supporting evidence), and finish with a well-concluding statement that summarizes your points and reflects on the thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together. This can include linking words (consequently, furthermore, however), referents (this, these, it), and other phrases that show connections between your thoughts.
Task Achievement
Throughout your essay, be consistent with your point of view. You should maintain a formal and academic tone, avoiding informal language and contractions.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the IELTS task. This includes discussing the causes of the problem as well as specific measures that could solve it. Your examples and arguments should be both relevant and concrete.
Task Achievement
Provide clear, comprehensive ideas that directly address the prompt. While you have presented some ideas relevant to the topic, strive to expand on these ideas with more detailed examples and a deeper analysis to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
For a higher score, you should provide more relevant, specific examples. These examples should support the main points in your argument and be clearly linked to the discussion on the causes and solutions for the problem of homelessness in major cities.