Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prioson sentences. Others,however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #prioson #sentences #alternative

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Throughout

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

era,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

considerably prevalent in the world. It is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

long history of convention

when

Correct word choice

that when

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

is occurred

Change to the active voice

occurs

has occurred

show examples

, the criminal lost their freedom.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

there is various controversy

Change preposition

over

show examples

this

Linking Words

automatic

sentence

Use synonyms

that criminal receives. There are tremendous

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

of how the criminal could be punished

instead

Linking Words

of receiving

Use synonyms

sentence

Add an article

a sentence

show examples

. It is highly agreeable that the criminal must be penalized corresponding

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

. The current law provides mostly

sentence

Use synonyms

which direct to the jail unless

Use synonyms

offender

Correct article usage

the offender

show examples

commit

serious

Add an article

a serious

show examples

felony. There are tremendous

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

that they got punished

however

Linking Words

the result of

punishment

Use synonyms

is very uniform.

Only

Add an article

The only

show examples

difference is the period that

Use synonyms

offender

Correct article usage

the offender

show examples

stay

Correct subject-verb agreement

stays

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail. The noticeable problem is that the weight of

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

is not measurable.

For example

Linking Words

, the economic criminal and murder

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not comparable

however

Linking Words

sometimes the

sentence

Use synonyms

of murder and economic criminal receive

similar

Add an article

a similar

show examples

sentence

Use synonyms

. In order to offer

fair

Correct article usage

a fair

show examples

sentence

Use synonyms

, the corresponding result

such

Linking Words

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

amount of

penalty

Use synonyms

economic

Add an article

the economic

show examples

offender

Use synonyms

and

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

Use synonyms

killer

Add an article

the killer

a killer

show examples

is supposed to be unbiased Meanwhile there is

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

argument that imprisoning is not effective. When it comes to

Use synonyms

offender

Fix the agreement mistake

offenders

show examples

are easily consider

Change the verb form

easily consider

show examples

that they are fairly useless to be

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

of society. The purpose of

imprisoning

Replace the word

imprisonment

show examples

is basically to reform

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

which

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not

weight

Correct your spelling

weigh

show examples

punishment

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

conventional method

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

evaluated

from

Change preposition

show examples

some people that the

victim

Use synonyms

or family of

Use synonyms

victim

Add an article

the victim

show examples

is not considered Especially in South Korea where the

sentence

Use synonyms

is fairly light than

Change preposition

in other

show examples

other country

Change the wording

another country

other countries

show examples

this

Linking Words

criminal considered

punishment

Use synonyms

is way too biased.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

when it comes to the case of murder, the

victim

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

crime

Use synonyms

case could not return any of their ordinary life. Meanwhile, the criminal only

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

decade

Add an article

a decade

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail and eventually

return

Correct subject-verb agreement

returns

show examples

back

Verb problem

apply

show examples

their ordinary life. Which directly

imply

Correct subject-verb agreement

implies

show examples

that there is

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

penalty

Use synonyms

or compensation to

Use synonyms

victim

Add an article

the victim

show examples

. To wrap up,

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the victim

show examples

victim

Change noun form

victim's

show examples

perspective the execution of

Use synonyms

sentence

Correct article usage

the sentence

show examples

is fairly biased

Change preposition

toward

show examples

criminal

Correct article usage

the criminal

show examples

and

this

Linking Words

punishment

Use synonyms

is not

various

Replace the word

varied

show examples

or specific which is not correctly

aiming

Wrong verb form

aim

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

corresponding

penalty

Use synonyms

. As the above statement mentioned, the conventional

punishment

Use synonyms

is required to change to

Use synonyms

victim based

Add a hyphen

victim-based

show examples

legislation rather than

offender

Use synonyms

-centered execution

Submitted by Choi Sugyeong on Fri Jul 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
63
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

363 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prioson sentences. Others,however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these method are ineffective, and at worst that may be dangerous. To what extent did you agree with this statement.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is better for a country's economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.