IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many people think that the government should pay the tuition fees of all adults who are interested in university studies. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #tuition #fees #adults #university #studies
as our
education
 system
has
Verb problem
is at
show examples
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 level,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can apply for
university
 for
further
 learning. and many people think that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government support the
tuition
fee
. as
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 is equal
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the chance of
education
. many people think that
education
 should give
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 chance to every person who is
citizen
Add an article
a citizen
show examples
. and
this
 policy is not for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
, but just for only the adult who are interested in
university
 studies. it means that it's
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will be the fundamental of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
on the other hand
,
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 is limited. if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should afford all
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should cut some budget from other departments'
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
which might be essential. and we can get almost all
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
 that society
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 for us from the
education
 from high school. so only a few people need
further
 and detailed knowledge
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their business field.
lastely
Correct your spelling
lately
lastly
, with
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
scholarship
Add a comma
scholarship,
show examples
 we can run
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 more efficiently. if the
tuition
fee
 is free, there will be no more competition and it will bring lower-equalization.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 far as i
Add a missing verb
am concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
, in
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
efficiancy
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 is more important than equality. and to make an
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
university
education
 system scholarship is better than free
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
Submitted by Frema Padtoc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: