In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Convincing

children

Use synonyms

that hard work makes everything possible is popular in some nations.

This

Linking Words

message can be advantageous to

children

Use synonyms

as it motivates them and encourages them to chase their dreams.

However

Linking Words

, it can cause some negative consequences. On the one hand,

this

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message is beneficial to the young generation in many ways.

Children

Use synonyms

usually have a lot of dreams since they are at the beginning of their lives and they think everything is possible. When adults encourage them to pursue their passions and believe in them, it pushes them to become the best version of themselves through working hard and staying positive. Another benefit is that it keeps

children

Use synonyms

encouraged even when they fail.

In other words

Linking Words

, when

children

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grow into adults and start chasing their dreams, they will surely encounter hardships. If they were taught that persistence and hard work will get them through, they will not give up and will stay motivated.

On the other hand

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children

Use synonyms

who believe

this

Linking Words

message may encounter some problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

believing everything is possible, they may set unrealistic goals for themselves and think they can achieve them.

For instance

Linking Words

, they may think they can become millionaires at the age of fifteen and when they reach that age, they become frustrated that they did not get what they wanted.

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

may push themselves to their limits and work too hard which affects them negatively.

This

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can be exemplified by

children

Use synonyms

who study all the time because they want to be top students and suffer from mental health issues

such

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as depression, anxiety, and isolation.

To conclude

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although

Linking Words

it is beneficial to tell

children

Use synonyms

that working hard towards a goal always yields positive results, it can cause them issues

such

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as frustration and burnout.

Maryam AljanabiSun Jul 05 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more thorough conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a final thought or recommendation related to the topic.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay. Consider using synonyms or more specific terms.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for more complex sentences. Vary the sentence structures to improve the overall grammatical range.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each orther. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some place, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Throughout history, male leaders often made society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?