IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

#people #health #clubs #gyms #care #say #stairs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern-day, the demand of the people is raised so some people need to go to strength clubs and gyms for protection to health care. Others said that to walk and climb stairs are more effective. There are many pros and cons to be taken into account people before making a final decision.
In other words
, Going to fitness clubs and gyms for energy care is vital because the society has developed and demanded to make beautiful too raise. When we arrive at
this
 point, point normally makes sure we practice properly for a good body.
For instance
,
last
 year my friend was too fat so that he feels shy. He decided to go to the gym club to improve physique. I met him by chance and his body makes me so surprise.But go to the strength clubs will pricey if you are broke because the fee in the leagues about 500.000VND In the other hand, walking and climbing stairs
moreover
 a good suggestion if you want to strength training. Because it’s free. You aren't only breathing fresh air, but
also
 improve your health. For illustration, in the week after the busy week if you can climb the mountain and go sightseeing, you will feel it comfortable. In conclusion, Anything good is good. In my opinion, everyone should look into their own situation before making a decision.
Submitted by My Tạ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: