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Band 7.5

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #medicine
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It is believed that these days, thanks to various advances and breakthroughs in science and technology, we no longer need to use products from animals,
such
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 as food, clothing items or even medicine. I completely agree with
this
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 idea. Many studies show that a plant-based diet not only provides sufficient nutrients for our body to function normally, but
also
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 helps us prevent various potential health issues
such
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 as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart attacks. My grandfather is a good case in point. He has been a vegetarian for over 60 years and he is still in good health at the age of 80. In terms of clothing, I strongly believe that it is not necessary to sacrifice an animal’s life for a jacket or a dress. These days, artificial fur and high-quality synthesised fabric are being used to replace
animals’ fur
Suggestion
the animals’ fur
 or other body parts. Animal testing has played an essential role in the medical field. In recent years,
however
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, with the development of technology, we can replace animal experimentations with sophisticated computer programs that could provide more accurate results.
For instance
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, computer-based testing has been used to test the safety of new drugs or cancer treatments and has proved effective. It is,
therefore
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, no longer necessary to use animals for new medicine testing or treatments. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that products made by killing animals
such
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 as food, clothing or medicine are no longer necessities due to the fact that they can be replaced by vegetarian food, artificial clothing materials or computer simulations.
Submitted by Uyên Nguyễn on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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