It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As responsible citizens of a progressive society, there is often an expectation bound to all the young adults that they should get involved in unpaid work to assist people in their
community
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
there are drawbacks to
such
Linking Words
activities, I would argue that these are outweighed by the benefits. The drawbacks associated with
this
Linking Words
primarily include the time that a young adult would put
in
Suggestion
into
helping people.
This
Linking Words
time could very well be used in enhancing current skills, developing new skills, strengthening educational qualifications and
then
Linking Words
applying for competitive and high status jobs.
Also
Linking Words
, youth is that stage of life that allows enjoyment without being tied down with the responsibilities that arise with age. Spending the little leisure time that they get
in helping
Accept comma addition
in, helping
the
community
Use synonyms
would steal from them the pleasures of exploring their individuality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, providing unpaid help to people in the
community
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
comes with significant advantages. The young adults of today become the leaders and innovators of tomorrow. If today they learn the value of moving forward while helping others move forward, they will understand what true progress and success means and that money is not everything. They will learn to empathise with each other, be sensitive to each other’s needs and make choices that benefit one and all.
This
Linking Words
in turn will
also
Linking Words
help communities prosper. With people being able to reach out to each other in cases of need, neighbourhoods and cities could hopefully become become better places to live in, which is precisely what is needed in society today. To sum up, overall I believe that the benefits are greater than the drawbacks. The requirement to undertake
community
Use synonyms
service must be a key part of the life cycle of young adults and encouraged wherever possible.
Submitted by isabelle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: