It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

#adults #period #work #people #community #requirement

As responsible citizens of a progressive society, there is often an expectation bound to all the young adults that they should get involved in unpaid work to assist people in their

community

Although

there are drawbacks to

such

activities, I would argue that these are outweighed by the benefits. The drawbacks associated with

this

primarily include the time that a young adult would put

Suggestion

into

helping people.

This

time could very well be used in enhancing current skills, developing new skills, strengthening educational qualifications and

then

applying for competitive and high status jobs.

Also

, youth is that stage of life that allows enjoyment without being tied down with the responsibilities that arise with age. Spending the little leisure time that they get

in helping

Accept comma addition

in, helping

the

community

would steal from them the pleasures of exploring their individuality.

On the other hand

, providing unpaid help to people in the

community

also

comes with significant advantages. The young adults of today become the leaders and innovators of tomorrow. If today they learn the value of moving forward while helping others move forward, they will understand what true progress and success means and that money is not everything. They will learn to empathise with each other, be sensitive to each other’s needs and make choices that benefit one and all.

This

in turn will

also

help communities prosper. With people being able to reach out to each other in cases of need, neighbourhoods and cities could hopefully become become better places to live in, which is precisely what is needed in society today. To sum up, overall I believe that the benefits are greater than the drawbacks. The requirement to undertake

community

service must be a key part of the life cycle of young adults and encouraged wherever possible.

Submitted by isabelle on Fri Jul 10 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many governments spend a lot of money on art. Some people think this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people state arts courses such painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Electriv vehicles are considered to be less harmful to the environment than petrol and diesel vehicles. What prevents individuals from choosing electric vehicles? Discuss some ways to encourage people to buy electric vehicles?

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extebt do you agree or disagree?