IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both vioews and give your opinion.

#governments #support #artists #people #waste #money #vioews
People are immensely influenced by the entertainment media they are exposed to. It is a commonly held belief that the government censorship on the amount of violence shown leads to a reduction in violent crimes in the society. While I don’t usually believe in government interventions, I have a completely opposite view in
this
 context, and strongly agree that government supervision on violent crimes shown in movies and television is crucial. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one that the younger generation is enormously impacted by what they see in movies and televisions. Gory details of a murder or a fighting sequence may have psychological impacts on the impressionable minds. It has often been found that
such
 disturbed or mentally unstable youths commit the most horrific crimes only because they saw them in the movies or television. If not caught early on,
such
 juvenile criminals go on to become the most dreaded anti-social elements. To
further
 add to my argument, technology now a days have made it possible to show violence and crimes with detailed visuals. Creative minds in the entertainment industry have been exploiting
such
 advancements to bring a more thrill to the scenes. It has been observed that criminals are often wrongly inspired by
such
 projections and try to replicate the same in real life.
For example
, an investigation of a recent kidnapping and the subsequent gory murder case revealed that the criminals copied the modus-operandi scene by scene from a crime drama. In conclusion, despite the fact that history is replete with violent crimes which happened much before television and movies came, and strict law are an important steps to reduce the crime, I firmly believe that putting a strict controls on amount of violence shown in the entertainment media improves the society in general and greatly reduces the number of
such
 crimes.
Submitted by Manish D on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: