IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a major problem. What are the main causes of this issue? What solutions can be implemented to address it?

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In many urban cities, heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
 can lead to severe consequences.
This
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 essay will discuss the origins of
traffic
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 congestion and promote several remedies. There are two main problems behind heavy
traffic
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 in urban areas.
Firstly
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, the increasing number of jobs which are located far from people’s houses force them to commute using their own vehicles.
This
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 situation has become prevalent in rural areas since the opportunity to work in their regions is relatively small.
Secondly
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, public transportation is still far from ideal. Many public transportations
such
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 as trains and buses are not fully integrated, making people difficult to use them.
As a result
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, they would prefer to use their cars because it is more efficient. These problems can result in less productivity and burnout. Eradicating the problems can be done by implementing several approaches.
To begin
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 with, the government should increase the car
tax
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. People might think twice about having their own car if the
tax
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 is gradually increased over the years because their salary sometimes cannot satisfy the expenditures including car
tax
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.
In addition
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, improving public transport is inevitable.
By investing
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Investing
show examples
 in infrastructure and facilities of public transport
such
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connectivity
Change preposition
as connectivity
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 between trains and buses could help people travel to their
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
 effectively and efficiently. In conclusion, there are two reasons behind
traffic
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 jams in big cities which are job opportunities, and bad public transportation. To mitigate
this
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 issue, governments should cut down the number of cars by increasing the
tax
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 and investing in public transportation. If the government could make improvements in
this
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 area, it would lessen the consequences of
traffic
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 congestion.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points on the causes of traffic congestion. This would enhance your argument and show deeper understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly relates to your thesis statement. This will help in maintaining logical flow throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to convey your ideas more effectively. This will improve the overall quality of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs discussing causes and solutions separately. This overall organization is a strength of your writing.
task achievement
You articulated the main ideas clearly, showing your understanding of the topic and the problems associated with traffic congestion.
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