Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

These days, celebrities are more popular and earn more money as compared to politicians

Accept space

Some believe that it is a positive

development

while

other

Suggestion

the other

marked it as

negative

Suggestion

a negative development

development

. I will discuss the reasons for

this

situation and whether it is

positive

Suggestion

a positive development

development

or not.

First

and foremost, the main reason for

this

situation is lack of youth's interest in politics. Young adults and small children are more interested in movies and

webseries

Suggestion

web series

. Other than

this

, celebrities are more famous than politicians as they are involved in films as well as advertisements

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With their talent and

hardwork

Suggestion

hard work

they attract more and more people toward themselves.

Also

, increasing corruption results in bad image of

politicpoliticans

because of which people do not like them. Moving

further

this

situation can be considered as positive because celebrities have

power

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the power

to influence the mind of

public

Suggestion

the public

. When they are doing good works like Charity

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their fans will

also

follow them

Accept space

Moreover

celebrities entertain the public with their work and they deserve to get money for making people happy.

However

, it

also

has some negative effects.

Firstly

, because of

salary gap

Suggestion

salary gaps

the salary gap

between celebrities and political leaders might discourage leaders from doing work or even motivate them to commit crimes

such

as corruption

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sSecondly

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Secondly

SSecondly

low

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lower

salary for

stressful job

Suggestion

the stressful job

of governors may discourage people from becoming politicians.

This

is undesirable because it would result in lack of

development

. In conclusion

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I personally believe that it is a negative

development

because it discourage youth to take

interest

Suggestion

an interest

in politics

Accept space

Everyone should have equal rights to get paid according to their

hardwork

Suggestion

hard work

Submitted by Dimple Brar on Wed Jul 15 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that traditional classroom-based education will be replaced by alternative methods by the year 2050. What is your opinion?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Keywords: health Type: Advantages & Disadvantages

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Agree or disagree?

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do the advantages of living away from home for university studies outweigh the disadvantages?