IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #work #money
Nowadays, making
money
 can be got
by
Suggestion
from
 difficult
work
 people. In my opinion, I agree that a great amount of people who
work
 much time can make
money
.
First
 of all, people who hard
work
 in their job can get more
money
 advantages
such
 as opportunity increasing
salary
.
This
 means that the employer can see your success in their presentation or project and he will be able to do improving
salary
.
For example
, Russian people who
work
 on selling different products can obtain percent with their sales
that is
 why they must
work
 harder. Without increasing
salary
, many people do not want to
work
 much harder because their
gob
the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money
job
 is not rated by the employer.
As a result
, getting much
money
 can help for many people buying a new apartment. Another point to consider is that people want to gain a bonus because of
at
Suggestion
of
 their difficult job.
In other words
, getting a bonus from the employer is helped by many people to go for travelling around the world and
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 city their
country
.
For instance
, people who
work
 harder in Gazprom can often travel around the world and choose a new
country
 for their
next
 vacation. Without a bonus for the employee, people cannot go on vacation in different
country
 because they do not have a lot of
money
.
Thus
, getting
money
 benefits should help persons to trip in their holidays. In conclusion, I think that people must
work
 a lot more because they get increasing
salary
 and gain new effects after their vacation in a different
country
.
Submitted by Александр on

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