People nowadays are spending more time at the workplace and it is argued that this is a problem for family life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In recent times, people have become workaholics and spend most of their
time
at Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
While
it can be good for their professional growth, it is believed by some that Linking Words
this
situation is causing more harm than good to their family Linking Words
life
. I completely agree with Use synonyms
this
notion and believe that it is deteriorating the quality of their personal relationships.
Linking Words
To begin
with, the most prominent reason for family issues arising Linking Words
due to
the heavy Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
life
is lack of Use synonyms
time
with family. When a person works for prolonged periods to prove his worth in Use synonyms
this
competitive environment, he tends to get less Linking Words
time
to spend with his loved ones. Those family members feel ignored and neglected, and Use synonyms
consequently
, there is turmoil in the relationship. Linking Words
For instance
, even if a person earns a significant amount of money by working incessantly for long hours, his children would need his presence to fulfil their psychological needs. Linking Words
Otherwise
, they might become rude and disrespectful because of the ignorance. Linking Words
Therefore
, less family Linking Words
time
means more problems at home.
Use synonyms
Additionally
, longer hours at Linking Words
work
may lead to unexpected ailments Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
work
stress which can Use synonyms
further
negatively impact family Linking Words
life
. It is well known that these days several health issues are arising as people prefer to Use synonyms
work
all the Use synonyms
time
and take out less Use synonyms
time
to exercise. Use synonyms
Therefore
, fitness levels are declining, and even young adults are dealing with uncommon illnesses. Linking Words
For instance
, adults nowadays, in the age group 20-50, are facing cardiovascular issues early in Linking Words
life
, resulting in sudden heart attacks. These diseases give rise to huge amounts of money spent to get cured, Use synonyms
further
diminishing the quality of Linking Words
life
. Use synonyms
Hence
, family Linking Words
life
faces more setbacks.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, hustle culture is benefiting no one and it is evident that it impacts family negatively and deters us from experiencing enriching relationships.Linking Words
Submitted by shaffyaroraca on
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task achievement
While the essay provides strong points and clear examples, consider further elaborating on how work stress specifically impacts family dynamics beyond health issues. This would give a deeper insight into the problem.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas. For example, linking the lack of time with family directly to the resulting stress and health issues would make the argument even more cohesive.
task achievement
Some sentences could be made more concise for clarity. For instance, rather than 'When a person works for prolonged periods to prove his worth in this competitive environment, he tends to get less time to spend with his loved ones,' you might say 'Working long hours leaves less time for loved ones.'
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position and sets up the argument for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces your stance on the topic.
supported main points
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the impact of prolonged work hours on psychological needs of children.