People nowadays are spending more time at the workplace and it is argued that this is a problem for family life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In recent times, people have become workaholics and spend most of their
time
at
work
.
While
it can be good for their professional growth, it is believed by some that
this
situation is causing more harm than good to their family
life
. I completely agree with
this
notion and believe that it is deteriorating the quality of their personal relationships.
To begin
with, the most prominent reason for family issues arising
due to
the heavy
work
life
is lack of
time
with family. When a person works for prolonged periods to prove his worth in
this
competitive environment, he tends to get less
time
to spend with his loved ones. Those family members feel ignored and neglected, and
consequently
, there is turmoil in the relationship.
For instance
, even if a person earns a significant amount of money by working incessantly for long hours, his children would need his presence to fulfil their psychological needs.
Otherwise
, they might become rude and disrespectful because of the ignorance.
Therefore
, less family
time
means more problems at home.
Additionally
, longer hours at
work
may lead to unexpected ailments
due to
work
stress which can
further
negatively impact family
life
. It is well known that these days several health issues are arising as people prefer to
work
all the
time
and take out less
time
to exercise.
Therefore
, fitness levels are declining, and even young adults are dealing with uncommon illnesses.
For instance
, adults nowadays, in the age group 20-50, are facing cardiovascular issues early in
life
, resulting in sudden heart attacks. These diseases give rise to huge amounts of money spent to get cured,
further
diminishing the quality of
life
.
Hence
, family
life
faces more setbacks.
To conclude
, hustle culture is benefiting no one and it is evident that it impacts family negatively and deters us from experiencing enriching relationships.
Submitted by shaffyaroraca on

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task achievement
While the essay provides strong points and clear examples, consider further elaborating on how work stress specifically impacts family dynamics beyond health issues. This would give a deeper insight into the problem.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas. For example, linking the lack of time with family directly to the resulting stress and health issues would make the argument even more cohesive.
task achievement
Some sentences could be made more concise for clarity. For instance, rather than 'When a person works for prolonged periods to prove his worth in this competitive environment, he tends to get less time to spend with his loved ones,' you might say 'Working long hours leaves less time for loved ones.'
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position and sets up the argument for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces your stance on the topic.
supported main points
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the impact of prolonged work hours on psychological needs of children.
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