IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people become famous at a very young age. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Along with the development of media and technology, it provides a platform for people to show their value and gain their reputation. Some people became famous when they are young, which has brought profound impacts on their
life
. In my opinion, its disadvantage outweighs its advantages. It is true that becoming famous will bring them huge income which can not only ensure their high-quality and stable
life
 but
also
 provides them with a good growth environment.
In addition
, fame represents public support and love, which can gain them a lot of confidence and bring countless benefits to their growth.
However
, there are several visible drawbacks in their lives.
Firstly
, the majority of well-known people have no privacy in their private
life
 which will put much pressure on them. Online bullying is a typical example. The media
pays
Suggestion
pay
 too much attention to certain people's
life
 and causes their lives to be criticized by the public, which brings a lot of harm to them.Especially for young people with an immature mind, it may be difficult to cope with
this
 fame and cause eventually lead to a serious consequence.
Secondly
, their academics will be affected due to spending more time on their work.
Besides
, they may not have time to build a relationship with other children of the same age, which are
also
 essential for their social development.
Therefore
, the lack of these skills that can support their normal lives may cause great harm to their later lives. In conclusion,
although
 fame does bring many benefits to young people's lives, it has numerous side-effects that need us to pay more attention. In my opinion, parents should see the healthy development of their children as a priority rather than reputation.
Submitted by Celia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: