Some people believe that children are given too much freetime. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

There is no doubt that the children of
this
era have lots of leisure hours compared to the previous generation. While some argue that
this
can be better utilized by doing more school assignments, I, personally agree
this
viewpoint.
This
essay will discuss how the school- going children can effectively
participate various
Suggestion
participate in various
activities. One of the most effective
way
Suggestion
ways
to utilize the extra
time
is that learning some skills. Some study suggested that
acquaring
the act of acquiring something
acquiring
an additional qualification would useful to improve their
acadamic
associated with academia or an academy
academic
academics
level, even
further
.
This
is because these subjects relax both their body and mind from the hectic school assignments.
For example
, learning music has proven that
this
enhances their productivity would be improved substantially.
Therefore
, it is better to use the hours wisely for the development of either personal or professional life.
Nevertheless
, if
any children
Accept comma addition
any, children
spend his leisure
time
without doing nothing, can have many repercussions. The consequence of
this
is that they may end
up in engaing
Suggestion
up engaging in
up in engaging
up in enjoying
some unwanted activities.
For instance
, it is reported that
the young
Suggestion
the younger
generetion
all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age
generation
generations
have addicted to some online games, which usually grab their
time
and attention from their school works. Due to
this
, they score poorly in exams and leads certain issues in their class and family.
Alternativey
Suggestion
Alternatively
Alternative
, working in a short period, which is significant to the area interest, would assist them in progressing in their later in the life. In conclusion, by learning any talent or joining a part
time
job is the
effective
Suggestion
most effective
strategy for spending free-
time
. Every government is
resposible
worthy of or requiring responsibility or trust; or held accountable
responsible
to make a proper plan of action to implement
this
is to happen.
Submitted by Sal on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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