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Band 6

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #care
In recent decades, some people think that there have been a variety of activities for
people worldwide which
Suggestion
people worldwide, which
 cause their ignorance
for
Suggestion
to
of
 the
environment
. I totally disagree with
this
 statement and will give some ideas as below. On the one hand, people
have been raising
Suggestion
have raised
 their concerns for
this
 issue through mass media
such
 as television and online website.
First
,
media
Suggestion
the media
 act as incentives for both individuals and family to improve their knowledge about negative impacts of people to
environment
Suggestion
an environment
 which forces them to take steps to
interferce
come between so as to be hindrance or obstacle
interfere
 in reality. In fact, by appearing in short entertainments talking about climatic issues
such
 as
greenhouse effect
Suggestion
the greenhouse effect
 and gas emissions, these programmes ensure that individuals are
likely to aware
Suggestion
likely aware
 of the detrimental drawbacks of their daily work which are conducive to
environment
Suggestion
the environment
.
Second
, there are some
programes
a series of steps to be carried out or goals to be accomplished
programs
programmes
programmers
 caring about
climate including
Accept comma addition
climate, including
 new solutions and worldwide improvement.
For example
, it is easy for people to find some ideas to reduce rubbish which has been going to
ocean
Suggestion
the ocean
 every year.
As a result
, people have been having positive effects on the
environment
 by reducing gas emissions to the lowest point.
On the other hand
, climatic issues
have been becoming
Suggestion
have become
 a big
concerns
Suggestion
concern
 in education of not only schools but
also
 companies.
For instance
, schools require their students to plant trees everyday which can passively educate children to care for the green planet.
Moreover
, some companies, especially
big one
Suggestion
the big one
organize
Suggestion
organizes
 competitions related to actions
such
 as reusing products or selling old clothes to protect the Earth through their simple daily activities.
As a result
, people apparently have better ideas to
environment
Suggestion
environmental
. In conclusion, I think that people are having various ways to care for
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 with supports of media and education.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
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