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Band 6.5

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

#people #reduction #air #travel #future #development
There are some individuals who think that the
number
 of flights in the future will be reduced.
This
 essay will state that there will be negative effects on tourism and the
food
 industry.
Firstly
, the amount of
people
 who come to visit other countries can have a significant drop. Aeroplanes are the vehicles which transport a lot of
people
 in a short time and there are few
people
 who like to travel long hours by car or train. What`s more, as the
number
 of flights goes down, the price of tickets will go up. So, the
number
 of
people
 who can afford the time and the money to buy tickets could decrease heavily and there will be no more
people
 visiting other countries.
Secondly
, the quality of
food
that is
 served in many countries can take a huge damage. Many
food
 cargos are being transported by massive planes to reach their destinations as soon as possible and give chefs fresh ingredients to make fabulous dishes. If the
number
 of deliveries is reduced, the amount of fresh
food
 available in restaurants will
also
 go down.
As a result
, most known restaurant cannot keep their customers happy and fed. In conclusion, when the
number
 of take-offs and lands decreases a lot, it can have a destructive impact on tourism and the
food
 industry.
Submitted by mohamad.m.sharifi74 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a single clear idea to enhance paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve fluency and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clearly link the ideas in each paragraph to the main argument to ensure all points build on the thesis statement.
task achievement
Expand a bit more on each point to provide a deeper analysis and more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt directly and offers relevant main points and examples.
task achievement
The ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing a good understanding of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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