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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

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In
this
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 day and age, the number of people going for higher
studies
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 has increased a lot which causes
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
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 in their
career
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 start but with more advanced study.
This
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 essay shall outline the key advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 statement. One of the prominent pros is the in-depth knowledge
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
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while
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 pursuing college
studies
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 which will boost your
career
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 exponentially. It involves real-time case
studies
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 and challenging assignments that make an individual capable of competing
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 challenging world. Another noteworthy benefit is the extra edge of confidence level one can develop
while
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 studying
in
Change preposition
at
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 a university.
For example
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,
according to
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 a recent article in The Times, graduates from Stanford University are more capable and have much deeper knowledge as compared to a professional having 5 years of experience in the industry. Opting for higher
studies
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 and starting your
career
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 late is not without its disadvantages,
however
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. These days, graduating from a renowned university costs a lot of money and to
cater
Verb problem
address
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this
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 financial problem, students often take educational loans, which leads to stress and depression in some cases.
For instance
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, as per the 2019 reports from the education department of the Ontario province, 20% of students had shown symptoms of depression.
Along with
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 that, there are some suicidal cases reported as well which is very disturbing.
Also
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, there are cases where graduate students seem to have lost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enthusiasm and zeal after a certain age as they have already been exhausted a lot during their
studies
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.
To conclude
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,
while
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 the benefits of achieving higher educational credentials and starting a
late
Add a hyphen
late-career
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career
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 are enormous, the downsides should not be overlooked.

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task response
Your essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of more people going to university and starting work later with higher qualifications. However, the response is not fully developed and lacks depth in addressing the disadvantages, and it could benefit from providing a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are clear, and the essay follows a logical structure. Consider providing more detailed examples and expanding on each point to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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