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Band 5.5

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
It is often said that some people achieve
success
 in life despite failing as students. I think that academic knowledge is very useful to accomplish
g
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a
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reat goal.
However
, there are other factors that can lead to
success
,
such
 as entrepreneurship, hardworking, health and spirituality.
First
 of all, attending a college or university opens a range of possibilities when it comes to employment.
For example
, a physician, a lawyer or an engineer need to get
f
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a
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ormal education. Which means it is mandatory to study for years in order to get the degree of these regulated professions, well known for paying good wages and having outstanding benefits.
On the other hand
, people that start to run a business from an early age can get much more hands-on experience and if their business
start
Change the verb form
starts
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 to profit really well, they shall
Remove the space
apply
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make even more money than a doctor.
In other words
, many of the wealthiest people of the world,
for instance
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,
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Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, did not
ended
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end
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 graduating in a post-secondary program. They saw a business opportunity and focused all their lives to make it happen. In the rank of richest peoples over the world, these guys are on the top. To conclude, I do not think that level of
success
 equals money. I strongly believe that there are other aspects to be considered when measuring
success
,
such
 as keeping good health and having a relationship with God. In my opinion, build and support your own family is the most important thing in life. Having children is a victory that overweight academic and financial
success
.
Submitted by eng.gabrielpenha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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