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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In a response to the perceived threat of terrorism, security measures in many of the world’s major cities have been increased significantly in recent years. Do the benefits of having increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#threat #terrorism #security #measures #world’s #cities #years
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In recent days, the security level in mega-cities around the world has been boosted up dramatically over the years as a way to reduce the threat of terrorism. I believe the disadvantages of
this
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 phenomenon
are far off outweigh
Change the verb form
far off outweigh
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 the advantages due to its cost of maintenance and effectiveness. On the one hand, the benefits of applying new security measures
such
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 as deploying more armed police officers on the street or imposing stricter laws are foreseeable. Citizens
then
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 could be ensured a safer environment in which they can perform day to day activities
such
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 as shopping and working.
For example
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, in Thailand, the criminal rate in major cities is extremely low over the years due to its maximum security level and appropriate policies, zero bomb terrorism was recorded. On the
second
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 hand, the drawbacks of
this
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 phenomenon are undeniably high in terms of the expenditure for maintaining these measurements, one of which can be named as budgeting for the police department.
For instance
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, according to the New York Times, NYD( New York City Department), manually, spend more than a half of their cities budget on training new officers and constructing new military camps, and
this
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 would significantly add a burden on the social welfare as well as the economic scale.
As a result
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, businesses of all forms could heavily be taxed and the city dwellers have to suffer. In conclusion, the threat of terrorism in major cities around the world is avoidable in
favor
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favour
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 of applying the appropriate method. I think the focus should be shifted since the downsides were more worth considerable than the upsides.
Submitted by trananh.khang159 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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