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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #children #school #age
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There are people who find that children should join school earlier
while
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 others support the idea of postponing it until the children become older. Both sides have their advantages and disadvantages so in
this
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 essay I will discuss the all ideas and share my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, the first aspect, becoming a student at an early age allows them to gain more knowledge and scientific skills.
For example
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, kids at five or four years have strong observation skills, high memorizing abilities and special imagination minds.
This
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 helps them to have a longer time to practice and build significant soft and hard skills .
On the other hand
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, kids who enrolled in school later at an older age have better emotional links, social relationships and lovely memories by having great days with family.
For instance
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, all grown-ups never remember the way they learned and what they were educated
while
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 they have happy memories and emotions from their childhood after having quality time .
Moreover
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, parents who stay around their sons and daughters in earlier years that make them have good psychological health and are more confident.
Also
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,
this
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 age is for learning by playing with hands and self-learning. In my opinion, I find children need to have longer moments with their parents because there is nothing better than a healthy memory to adapt to a hard life by learning how to control feelings and that happens when they become fully with love and confidence.
overall
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, both opinions have positive sides but in the end, each family take a great way to educate their child.
Submitted by Poiu on

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task achievement
Add more examples to support your points for both views to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting ideas more clearly to improve the flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and mentions both views, setting up the discussion well.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and is logically derived from the discussion.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion by exploring both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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