Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many packaged

products

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and concealed drinks involve high amounts of sugar which can

cause

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medical

problems

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to prevent

this

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the

products

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which involve sugar must be overpriced. I totally agree with

this

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statement because it can

cause

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health

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problems

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and the best way to deal with

this

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situation is that increase the price of sugary

products

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. Many

health

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problems

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are caused by packaged sugary

products

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. To illustrate these

products

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, contain various ingredients

such

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as sweet syrup which can

cause

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obesity-related

problems

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This

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is because if sugary

products

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are eaten too much, it can

cause

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difficulties

such

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as diabetes and heart disease.

For example

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, many doctors believe that packaged sweet

products

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are the main

cause

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of obesity, diabetes, and heart diseases because the pancreas will have a hard time managing the high level of insulin

also

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known as sugar. The first thing that pops up to mind to decrease

this

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problem is increasing the tax. To elaborate, if these treats are more expensive there will be fewer people who want to purchase them.

Therefore

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, it will be less convenient than before.

For instance

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, in the United States, the government increased the tax on

products

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which had sweets in them.

In contrast

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, the percentage of consumers decreased because they were too expensive to purchase.

Additionally

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, there was a huge decline in

health

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problems

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because it was less consumed than before. In conclusion, I think the main

cause

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of many

health

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difficulties is sweet

products

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and to reduce

this

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problem make them more expensive by adding a high amount of tax.

mcqueensever Sun Feb 02 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider revising your introduction for clarity and flow. Presenting your opinion more effectively at the start can strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically connects to the main argument. For instance, the link between increased prices and health benefits could be made clearer.

Task Achievement

Make sure to support all your points with specific examples and evidence. While you mention the tax in the U.S., elaborating on outcomes could strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

You have a clear stance on the issue and present a consistent argument throughout your essay, which is an important strength.

Task Achievement

Your use of examples, such as doctors' opinions on sugary products, provides some empirical support for your argument and enhances your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people argue that the Olympic Games have significant benefits for the host country while others believe they are a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.