Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. What causes obesity and how can it be solved?

In the
ontemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
world, Obesity is one of the major issues in the world.
This
problem is growing at a rapid rate in many wealthy nations.
This
is the outcome of certain factors
thus
requires immediate attention. In
this
essay, I would shed light on some reasons for
this
and try to give some solutions.
To begin
with, there is some factor responsible for
this
issue. The
first
point of prime importance is unhealthy
food
because of the busy
time
schedule of individuals.
In addition
to
this
, People prefer to eat canned
food
and try to avoid homemade cooked
food
. To cite an example, Due to fast and busy lifestyle citizens do not have
time
to cook a healthy and hygienic meal. The University of Toronto did great research and found that 80% of people, Who living in Canada totally depended on canned or packed
food
. Which does not have proper nutrition and vitamins
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Moreover
, Another point in the list is physical exercises. People in today's
time
have more focus on the indoor game rather than outdoor activities. Children are becoming couch potatoes because of the less physical attractions, They like to play the indoor game in their leisure
time
. Which is the major reason for obesity in the youngster
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
It is the high
time
to take certain steps, Primarily people from all ages and groups have to add at list 30 minutes of exercises at their daily life routine because the survey conducted in 2019, The 70% of citizens, Who were doing physical activities was more heather than others.
Furthermore
, To overcome
this
problem in teenagers school should add one period for outdoor games because outdoor activities are beneficial to reduce extra fat calories. People have to change their eating habits and have to start cooking homemade
food
for
their
Delete the pronoun
apply
show examples
better health. To conclude, I would like to state that
this
problem cannot be solved individually and overnight, Since its roots are quite old now.
Therefore
, Combined efforts of both government and society are required. It would take some
time
, but the result is for sure.
Submitted by Guri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: