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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

#people #basis #time
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In modern-day society, we witness only a small group of people who still prefer to go to their destination by walking, even when it is relatively close.
This
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 behaviour may be triggered by the road’s constructions that are not pedestrian friendly and the unavailability of convenient public transportation. In
this
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 essay, we will talk about how building a walkable city is a huge investment to stop
this
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 phenomenon. There is no doubt that the public will choose the most convenient way to travel, be it by foot, car, or bus.
For instance
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, citizens of Bandung, Indonesia, might prefer to drive a car than walk as there is little to no infrastructure for pedestrians and limited routes of public transportation to access farther
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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.
Hence
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, society will choose private vehicles over doing extra work to go on foot. To cope with
this
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 problem, the government ought to use its authority to build the needed infrastructure to encourage citizens to walk.
This
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 long-term decision will bring a lot of benefits, namely a healthier population as walking is
such
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 a profound physical activity,
not to mention
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 less carbon emission from the use of private automobiles.
Thus
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,
this
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 solution will stay relevant to solve
this
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 problem. In conclusion, the lack of pedestrian-friendly facilities is the perpetrator of how
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 refuses to travel by walking.
However
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, as citizen’s habit is only the product of regulations made by the authorities, they should change the root cause by building a walkable city in order to encourage society to walk again.
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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay. While the provided solutions are valid, consider presenting more specific examples and further elaboration on them to substantiate your arguments.
task achievement
Aim for a more nuanced thesis statement to showcase a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical organization by explicitly outlining your main points and ensuring they directly relate to the topic throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking mechanisms to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
For stronger coherence, each body paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that sets the stage for the rest of the paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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