Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

Needless to say
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
consumption
of fast
food
adversely
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
the health of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. Some
people
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is essential to impose a high tax on
junk
foodstuff because it may discourage
people
from eating fast
food
. In my opinion, hefty charges can reduce the
consumption
rate but will not motivate them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
nutritious
food
items, and I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
explain some points which strengthen my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, imposing heavy levies on fast
food
means an increase in
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
commodities which directly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the middle class and poor
people
. To be more specific,
junk
food
like burgers, pizzas and street foods
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
at affordable rates at various apps like
zomato
Change the capitalization
Zomato
show examples
and
swiggy
Change the capitalization
Swiggy
show examples
.
Consequently
working
people
and students who live away from homes prefer
junk
food
because they do not have enough time to prepare a meal. Eventually, if the government increase the tax on fast
food
, it will not affect the rich
people
they will continue to consume it.
On the other hand
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
other methods through which
this
problem could be solved. First
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, healthy foodstuff should be more affordable and accessible so that everyone, especially
weaker
Correct article usage
the weaker
show examples
section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can easily buy it and easily
approachable
Correct word choice
accessible
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working
people
.
Because many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
people
are aware of the ill
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of unhealthy eating habits but the availability of
ready to eat
Add a hyphen
ready-to-eat
show examples
food
is comparatively more than healthy products.
Moreover
, the government ought to organize a health awareness campaign in different areas which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
information not only about healthy and unhealthy
food
but
also
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
show examples
the harmful impacts of fast
food
. In conclusion,
nonetheless
imposing hefty charges on
ready to eat
Add a hyphen
ready-to-eat
show examples
meals
minimize
Correct subject-verb agreement
minimizes
show examples
the
consumption
of unhealthy products, but it will deter low-income groups from buying them.
Health
Replace the word
Healthy
show examples
fitness
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
and the awareness of self-discipline towards the eating pattern could certainly reduce the
consumption
rate of
junk
foods.
Submitted by Simran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not fully address the task prompt. The argument is not developed enough and does not provide a clear position on whether the government should increase tax on unhealthy food. More focus and balance on arguments is needed.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear structure to the essay. However, some parts of the essay lack coherence and could be organized in a better logical order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy food
  • junk food
  • calorie-dense
  • taxing
  • incentivize
  • manufacturers
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disproportionately
  • low-income households
  • healthcare costs
  • obesity
  • diet-related diseases
  • punitive measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • government intervention
  • food industry
  • economic impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: