Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion.

Due to

the rapid developments being made in the science

stream

Add a comma

stream,

show examples

many products are being launched every new moon. A group of people opine that there is a trend to purchase modern electronic

items

while

others deem

this

thought as a waste of money. I reckon that

this

trend has a myriad of benefits and I will substantiate my view in the following paragraphs

along with

an example. People learn throughout their entire

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and they constantly improve their knowledge and

develop

Replace the word

development

show examples

. First of all, owing to the increase in trade many products are easily available in the market.

In addition

this

due to

mass production skills, these gadgets are not only available at a

less

Correct word choice

small

show examples

amount but

also

available in abundance.

Secondly

, as a hobby, many children purchase these gadgets to stay updated with technology.

Furthermore

due to

this

not only communication has increased but

also

a sense of security has increased.

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a recent survey conducted in Pune revealed that employees felt more comfortable

Change preposition

apply

show examples

talking to their kith and kin during office breaks.

Although

purchasing new gadgets and staying up-to-date has its merits there are certain disadvantages as well.

To begin

with, as the import of these

items

increases the economy of a nation decreases.

Moreover

, not only does pollution increase but

also

the raw

material

Fix the agreement mistake

materials

show examples

needed to manufacture these goods are getting depleted at a faster rate. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted in India states that the amount of pollution has increased by 20%

due to

the increased sales

Change preposition

show examples

electronic

items

Besides

this

, a lot many toddlers are facing loneliness and other health issues as they prefer to stay isolated. To recapitulate,

this

trend of purchasing goods has many advantages as compared to its

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

and it is best to purchase these

items

to stay

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

show examples

and advanced in today's time.

Submitted by fn5847 on Tue Sep 22 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

311 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technology advancements
convenience
efficiency
productivity
status symbol
financial burden
obsession
impulsive
consumerism
sustainability
e-waste
environmentally friendly
second-hand market
repairability
upgradability

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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