IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the main purpose of school and university education should be to prepare people for work. other, however, think that the true role of education is to make us better citizens

#people #purpose #school #university #education #work #role #citizens
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The purposes of
education
 are a controversy that never seems to end. Should young people become educated to get prepared to enter the workforce? Or should the purpose of
education
 be focused more on social, academic, cultural, and intellectual development so that students can grow up to be good citizens? Many people believe that
education
's primary purpose is to prepare individuals for the labour market. Many schools and universities educate them on beneficial skills to the professional,
such
 as Computer technical skills.
However
, it is reasonable for me to believe that
education
 is the forerunner of knowledge. We can fulfil valuable skills through it. Not only are for the workforce but
also
 for being the
right
person
.
Firstly
, employees are more prone to recruit candidates who have experience and high-skilled. In
such
 circumstances, it is very necessary that schools and universities have to educate people on practical skills for their future careers. The professional high-skills gained from schools and universities will be a guarantee to reach a stable future.
For instance
, if you graduated with high skill, you will get a good high paying job. And if you have a lot of money, you will have more chances to do anything.
However
, not only a talented
person
, being a good
person
 in society is very important as well. There is a common belief that
education
's main purpose is to improve individuals being the
right
person
 in the community. They believe that educational institutions should contribute to people's understanding of
right
 or wrong things. If people don't have moral codes, they are more likely to use their skills to do the wrong things.
For example
, doctors may use surgical skills to excise others, as we all see in the news. Conclusion,
although
 occupation-based
education
 is important, but without a consciousness of the
right
 things. Society is not safe.
Hence
,
education
 is an important factor that contributes to social harmony and peace.
Submitted by chernpornhongsamsibjed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: