IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it will cause some problems. Do you agree or disagree

#people #work #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A certain amount of people believe that allowing 60 years aged people to
work
Use synonyms
 would bring a lot of issues to the
work
Use synonyms
 in terms of production and employment
opportunity
Use synonyms
. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss what are the possible problems they give to the
company
Use synonyms
 if they
work
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, giving
opportunity
Use synonyms
 for aged people would impact a lot of young people without jobs.
This
Linking Words
 is because, if a 60-year employee sill
work
Use synonyms
 in the
company
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 there will no openings for new positions, in the same way,
Use synonyms
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ompany
also
Linking Words
 should pay him higher wages because of his experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, if 60 years experienced worker still continue their service with the
company
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the
company
Use synonyms
 should give them double the wage of fresher.
Thus
Linking Words
, over 60 years workers are more expensive for the
company
Use synonyms
 to pay and they are not giving
Use synonyms
o
Add an article
an
the
show examples
pportunity to new talents.
Secondly
Linking Words
, allowing over 60 years of a person into the
work
Use synonyms
 would affect
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency. The possible reason for
this
Linking Words
 would be a lack of concentration and attention at the
work
Use synonyms
. Most importantly, they could not compete with advanced technology in the industries.
For example
Linking Words
, a production
company
Use synonyms
 in Japan gave an
opportunity
Use synonyms
 for one employee in his early 60's to perform a quality check.
As a result
Linking Words
, he dispatched unfinished goods into the market,
this
Linking Words
 mistake made the
company
Use synonyms
 to pay an extra 2.5 million to re-
work
Use synonyms
 the whole job.
Therefore
Linking Words
, giving opportunities for over the 60-year worker is waste of time and money. In conclusion, I strongly agree that giving employment
opportunity
Use synonyms
 for aged people would significantly affect the employment for young people and less effective in production.
Submitted by njohngilbert on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: