Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #computers #entertainment #sports #part #pastimes #indoors

Undoubtedly, a child's activity plays a crucial part in everyone's

growth

where they are growing and learning a lot of skills. Whereas, kids are spending more present on electronic gadgets these days

instead

of pastimes. offsprings are more likely to play indoor activities. Playing different kinds of activities

also

helpful for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better

growth

, future as well as to build social relations with others.

Moreover

, both have a positive and negative impact on

Add a pronoun

their

show examples

ives. On the one hand, Adolescents spend more term on television, laptops, smartphones to play online games, etc which create a bad effect on them.

However

, it may lead to horrible results

such

as physical and psychological health. Apart from

this

, people are more strong and well socially connected with others because they spent ample age in outdoor activities.

For instance

, if youngsters spend more point on electronic techniques

then

they will be distracted from their relations, family values, etc.

Moreover

, they can not make an emotional bond with anyone as well as getting more depressed.

In addition

to it, they become socially isolated which affects the minor's growing

growth

period.

On the other hand

, the electronic appliance is commonly used in these days. It has

also

positive effects on human

growth

. At present, youth learn a different way of learning. As earlier discussed, individuals were not well exposed to electronic tools so they were not much educated along with less electronic knowledge. In conclusion, I certainly disagree with

this

statement because indoor activities implement a bad effect on minors.

Moreover

,they become socially distracted that will leads to health problems.

Submitted by gk0280658 on Wed Oct 21 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

dependent
computers
electronic entertainment
outside
sports
traditional pastimes
excessive
negative impacts
physical health
mental health
promote
overall well-being
play outdoors
read books
socialize
develop
balance
holistic development

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact in local culture. What do you think have been the impact? Do you think the advantage overweigh disadvantage?

Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?