IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as Olympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many
adults
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exercise
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 less than in the past, which has led to increasing health problems.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that large sporting
events
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such
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 as the Olympic Games or the World Cup can encourage
adults
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 to live healthier lives, others argue that there are more effective ways to motivate
people
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 to
exercise
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. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. Those who support the idea of using major sporting
events
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 provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most obvious benefits is that these
events
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 inspire
people
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 by showcasing athletic excellence. To illustrate, watching professional athletes perform at a high level can motivate
adults
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 to become more active and try new sports.
For instance
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, after major football tournaments, many
people
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 become interested in joining local football clubs or playing recreational games with friends.
In addition
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,
such
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events
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 receive extensive media coverage, which can raise awareness about the importance of physical fitness and healthy lifestyles. Those who believe that there are better ways to encourage
adults
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 to
exercise
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also
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 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that everyday accessibility is more important than occasional inspiration. To clarify,
adults
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 are more likely to
exercise
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 regularly if they have convenient access to affordable gyms, parks, and sports facilities.
For example
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, workplaces can offer fitness programmes or subsidised gym memberships, which make
exercise
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 part of daily routines.
Furthermore
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, public health campaigns that educate
people
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 about the risks of inactivity and the benefits of regular
exercise
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 can lead to long-term behavioural change. To recapitulate, it is evident that sporting
events
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 can motivate some
adults
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 by inspiring interest in sports,
while
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 other practical approaches focus on making
exercise
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 more accessible and sustainable. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that
although
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 international sporting
events
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 are helpful, long-term solutions
such
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 as improving facilities and promoting daily physical activity are more effective in encouraging
adults
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 to
exercise
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 regularly.

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tip
Plan the answer first. Say your view early and add 2-3 clear examples.
tip
Make each paragraph start with a clear topic sentence and keep one main idea per paragraph.
tip
Use simple linking words like also, but, however, for example to move from idea to idea.
organization
Good layout with an intro, body parts and a clear ending.
content
Examples are used to show points.
stance
Clear view at the end.
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