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Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors
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We all want our lives to be joyful. Part of the society thinks people are accountable for their own pleasure and others believe it is based on materials
such
 as money, house or jobs. Throughout
this
 essay,I will discuss both sides and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, peace of mind depends on our state of mind. No matter what you have in your life we should learn how to appreciate small things and be happy with what we got.
For example
, a few years ago when I was in Sri Lanka I knew a person that did not have a proper place to stay. But they were extremely happy and enjoyed their lives to the fullest.
Thus
, we are in control of our joyfulness and self- satisfaction is the key to it.
On the other hand
, prosperity could be determined by external factors
such
 as food, house, money and job status as well because people tend to be happier when they have those basic needs.
For instance
, a study done in London University found out that, 85% of people think joy is depending on material stuff
such
 as house, car or job.
Hence
, it is true that our joy based on external things because those are the basic needs that can make people happy. To sum up, in my opinion, optimism is something that individuals can control because it is our state of mind and on the other side,I believe we can’t be happy without our basic needs
such
 as a shelter or food.
Submitted by shalithfdo on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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