Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

We all want our lives to be joyful. Part of the society thinks people are accountable for their own pleasure and others believe it is based on materials

such

as money, house or jobs. Throughout

this

essay,I will discuss both sides and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, peace of mind depends on our state of mind. No matter what you have in your life we should learn how to appreciate small things and be happy with what we got.

For example

, a few years ago when I was in Sri Lanka I knew a person that did not have a proper place to stay. But they were extremely happy and enjoyed their lives to the fullest.

Thus

, we are in control of our joyfulness and self- satisfaction is the key to it.

On the other hand

, prosperity could be determined by external factors

such

as food, house, money and job status as well because people tend to be happier when they have those basic needs.

For instance

, a study done in London University found out that, 85% of people think joy is depending on material stuff

such

as house, car or job.

Hence

, it is true that our joy based on external things because those are the basic needs that can make people happy. To sum up, in my opinion, optimism is something that individuals can control because it is our state of mind and on the other side,I believe we can’t be happy without our basic needs

such

as a shelter or food.

Submitted by shalithfdo on Mon Oct 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think the solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write a letter to your friend describing the university you have joined recently for you! post-graduation. Invite him or her to visit you sometime. In your letter: -describe your new course and university - what do you like about it - ask your friend to visit you sometime Dear Sam.