Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

We all want our lives to be joyful. Part of the society thinks people are accountable for their own pleasure and others believe it is based on materials

such

as money, house or jobs. Throughout

this

essay,I will discuss both sides and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, peace of mind depends on our state of mind. No matter what you have in your life we should learn how to appreciate small things and be happy with what we got.

For example

, a few years ago when I was in Sri Lanka I knew a person that did not have a proper place to stay. But they were extremely happy and enjoyed their lives to the fullest.

Thus

, we are in control of our joyfulness and self- satisfaction is the key to it.

On the other hand

, prosperity could be determined by external factors

such

as food, house, money and job status as well because people tend to be happier when they have those basic needs.

For instance

, a study done in London University found out that, 85% of people think joy is depending on material stuff

such

as house, car or job.

Hence

, it is true that our joy based on external things because those are the basic needs that can make people happy. To sum up, in my opinion, optimism is something that individuals can control because it is our state of mind and on the other side,I believe we can’t be happy without our basic needs

such

as a shelter or food.

Submitted by shalithfdo on Mon Oct 26 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

112.In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Demand for oil and gas is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity.do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?