Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt that every person is responsible for their own joy. While some individuals think that they are responsible for their peace but others feel that depending on different elements of fun vary. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the former view.

First

Linking Words

of all, these days individuals think that joy comes from other people or by purchase luxury things. They feel their happiness relies on how others treat them, they feel they are in a race with people around them.

For example

Linking Words

, when somebody attended a family gathering, if he was not welcomed properly, if someone was mean with him/her, at that moment he feels so disappointed.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, he would express

this

Linking Words

frustration on someone or something which is not good.

However

Linking Words

, everybody should learn to be emotionally independent and accept the things/people how they come.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that every life is solely in charge of their peace. No one should give a chance for others to affect them in any way. If an individual is strong enough to face emotional problems

then

Linking Words

he/she would not need to face any consequences.

For instance

Linking Words

, a human being should learn to let things go. One should not take any situation to mind.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, always try to radiate positive energy to the world around us. Every individual must learn to be calm and composed in tough times. Meditation helps us to happy all the time. In conclusion, even though many human beings feel that their joy depends on other things these will not be the case all the times. In my opinion, I feel if an individual is powerful no other factors can affect their happiness.

Submitted by alekhyabehara on Tue Nov 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Multiple under-age criminal accidents are ubiquitous across many regions, indicating unsuitable children development. According to this issue, while some advocate house hold is the largest factor that tailored kids' traits, others argue that their daily circumstances are the most significant causes. Considering former contention, I personally believe both factors contribute to juveniles' characters and will elaborate my view points on the matter.
8
band
One of your friend lives in another country. You want to spend time working in that country. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter, you should: •describe why you want to work in that country; •tell him/her about your skills and experience; •ask some questions related to work (wage, salary)
Hello, my dear Tomas. I hope this letter finds you well.
8
band
A friend of your is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Give details of the course you took at the university Explain why recommend the university Give some advice about how to apply
I am writing you this letter to share with you some advice about the Project Management program which I completed recently from Abu Dhabi University I came to know that you planning to take the same program in the coming semester.
5
band
Write about the following topic: Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The amount of available sugar in processed foods and drinks is growing to be a globally concerning issue. There is a consensus that the price of these products should be increased so that people would not be able to consume them on a regular basis. This, however, is not a practical way to approach this problem due to its temporary results and illogical rationale.
4.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
With technology advancement, entrepreneurs are using more advertisement to claim their products that are new in different methods. The reason is because they believe it can attract more citizens willing to pay for their goods. In my opinion, it has negative impacts to both society and individuals.

Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?