Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

There is no doubt that every person is responsible for their own joy. While some individuals think that they are responsible for their peace but others feel that depending on different elements of fun vary. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the former view.

First

of all, these days individuals think that joy comes from other people or by purchase luxury things. They feel their happiness relies on how others treat them, they feel they are in a race with people around them.

For example

, when somebody attended a family gathering, if he was not welcomed properly, if someone was mean with him/her, at that moment he feels so disappointed.

In addition

to that, he would express

this

frustration on someone or something which is not good.

However

, everybody should learn to be emotionally independent and accept the things/people how they come.

Secondly

, I strongly believe that every life is solely in charge of their peace. No one should give a chance for others to affect them in any way. If an individual is strong enough to face emotional problems

then

he/she would not need to face any consequences.

For instance

, a human being should learn to let things go. One should not take any situation to mind.

Furthermore

, always try to radiate positive energy to the world around us. Every individual must learn to be calm and composed in tough times. Meditation helps us to happy all the time. In conclusion, even though many human beings feel that their joy depends on other things these will not be the case all the times. In my opinion, I feel if an individual is powerful no other factors can affect their happiness.

Submitted by alekhyabehara on Tue Nov 03 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some food travels long distance from the producers to the consumers. Some people believe that it is better for the environment and economy if people only buy food produced by local farmers. Do you think the advantages of this idea would outweigh the disadvantages?