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Writing Samples
Band 6

Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage ?

#marriages
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Modern weddings are bigger as well as more extravagant than those of the past.
Although
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 there are certain disadvantages associated with
this
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 trend, the upsides
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
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this
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 case seem to outweigh the downsides.
To begin
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,
this
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 trend does have its drawbacks. For one,
such
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 weddings set a bad precedent for
r
Add an article
the
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est of the
society
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 from a financial point of view. In a bid to match the grandeur and
extravagence
Correct your spelling
extravagance
 of
such
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 weddings, families, especially middle- class and lower- class ones, overspend and sometimes even end up in debt. Another negative aspect
Verify preposition usage
of
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the waste that
such
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 lavish and grand ceremonies entail.
This
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 wastage of huge amounts of food and excessive consumption of electricity are enormous costs to bear for an event that lasts merely a day or two. Despite these drawbacks,
however
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, a stronger case for grander and extravagant weddings can be drawn. To elaborate, one aspect of
such
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 weddings is that they provide employment to hundreds of people from the lower classes of
society
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.
This
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 money that
thus
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 flows down from the rich to the poor contributes in narrowing the grave economic disparity
this
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 tends to exist between the upper and lower classes of
society
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 in most countries. It can
also
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 be argued that
such
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 grand weddings preserve and even strengthen the social structure since they are an opportunity for many relatives and friends to connect with each other. In conclusion, while there are certain drawbacks to
this
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 trend, it is largely beneficial as it works to bridge the rich-poor disparity and to strengthen
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by arah.kaka011 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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