IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that spending money on developing technology for space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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When it comes to paying out money on building
technology
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,different people have varied opinions.Some people believe that literacy rate and medical facilities are lagging behind,while others say that investing in
space
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exploration
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 will be beneficial to countries security monitoring.Despite the fact that spending money on
space
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exploration
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 have their own benefits, I believe that the focus must
also
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 be on
education
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 and medical facilities.
To begin
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 with, these of
technology
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 on
education
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 and medical health are least bothered.When it comes to
education
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,children in rural areas are not even aware of the advantages which sit behind the computer.
For instance
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, Indian institute of
technology
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, Madras in their recent studies bought out that, only 36 per cent of rural population children are used to computer and rest are not even know about it.Apart from
this
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,
technology
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also
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 sits behind in the medical field.There are very few inventions taking place by using
technology
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 it is because the government is not spending money on building labs to create new things.Whereas in other countries
such
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 as America and Europe they give for more attention to medical health.
On the other hand
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, the use of
technology
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 for
space
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exploration
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 have very few merits.
Firstly
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, it can be used for the country security in the latter stages but very few of them get a and full of experience.
Secondly
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,most of the public are not aware of what developments are going in
this
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 area.
This
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 in a way loses the interest of the people on
this
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 field. In conclusion, funding on the
education
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 and medical facilities should be kept
first
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 because the ink to a rural area is still missing in our country rather than that of
space
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exploration
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.
Submitted by Naresh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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