When asked to choose a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In recent years, some
people
have argued that if they were asked whether or not to work
for the rest of their lives, they would definitely choose to be free from work
. The author of this
essay completely disagrees with this
statement due to
the fact that people
already know the consequences of this
foolish decision.
To begin
with, it should be acknowledged that no adult is going to pick a life without work
because they will have to endure severe torture for this
lifestyle. Firstly
, people
work
in order to earn money since everything in this
world is run by money; if they do not work
, they will not have an income. Consequently
, they cannot buy or pay for any necessities, such
as food, clothes, drink, and medical treatment. As a result
, they will be sick, starved, and thirsty, and eventually die in the most painful way. Secondly
, people
also
work
to help their family and disabled relatives, so their beloved
ones will die as well because they are unable to take over the bread family’s role. For these reasons, it will be dangerous for Correct your spelling
loved
people
to choose a life with no work
, as it is nothing more than a horrible death penalty for them.
Another point that needs to be considered is that even a child may already know how ridiculous this
idea is. First of all, teenagers work
not only for their living but also
for their dreams. They work
to gain experience so that they can build up trust among their colleagues and managers, and they will get promoted easily, earning a higher salary because the cost of living is increasing over time and they need to keep up with its pace. Second of all, they work
to get promoted, and they will use their power and influence to make this
world a better place by introducing projects that originated from their ideas. To sum up
, people
work
for a much more ideal goal, becoming popular and using their reputation to help other unfortunate people
.
In conclusion, other people
may argue that there is a large number of people
living well without work
. However
, this
writer believes that those are the richest people
in the world, so they do not need to work
, and there is a larger number of people
who are ordinary or even poor, so the answer is still certain that people
have to work
. This
essay has enough pieces of evidence to prove the writer’s point of view.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure. To enhance it further, consider dividing some of the longer paragraphs into smaller ones to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and align with the arguments made in the body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally supported well, but additional concrete examples and more detailed evidence could strengthen your argument even further.
task achievement
Overall, you've provided a complete response to the task. To achieve a higher score, aim to delve deeper into the nuances of the topic, perhaps discussing the psychological or social aspects of work beyond just financial and survival needs.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. However, occasionally, the wording choices and sentence structures could be refined to improve flow and readability.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples, but integrating a wider variety of examples (such as statistical data or anecdotal evidence) could enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs and main points are smooth and logical, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by presenting a strong stance and supporting it with logical reasoning.
task achievement
The examples provided, though general, are relevant and help to substantiate your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example