When asked to choose a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In recent years, some
people
have argued that if they were asked whether or not to Use synonyms
work
for the rest of their lives, they would definitely choose to be free from Use synonyms
work
. The author of Use synonyms
this
essay completely disagrees with Linking Words
this
statement Linking Words
due to
the fact that Linking Words
people
already know the consequences of Use synonyms
this
foolish decision.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it should be acknowledged that no adult is going to pick a life without Linking Words
work
because they will have to endure severe torture for Use synonyms
this
lifestyle. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
in order to earn money since everything in Use synonyms
this
world is run by money; if they do not Linking Words
work
, they will not have an income. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they cannot buy or pay for any necessities, Linking Words
such
as food, clothes, drink, and medical treatment. Linking Words
As a result
, they will be sick, starved, and thirsty, and eventually die in the most painful way. Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
work
to help their family and disabled relatives, so their Use synonyms
beloved
ones will die as well because they are unable to take over the bread family’s role. For these reasons, it will be dangerous for Correct your spelling
loved
people
to choose a life with no Use synonyms
work
, as it is nothing more than a horrible death penalty for them.
Another point that needs to be considered is that even a child may already know how ridiculous Use synonyms
this
idea is. First of all, teenagers Linking Words
work
not only for their living but Use synonyms
also
for their dreams. They Linking Words
work
to gain experience so that they can build up trust among their colleagues and managers, and they will get promoted easily, earning a higher salary because the cost of living is increasing over time and they need to keep up with its pace. Second of all, they Use synonyms
work
to get promoted, and they will use their power and influence to make Use synonyms
this
world a better place by introducing projects that originated from their ideas. Linking Words
To sum up
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
for a much more ideal goal, becoming popular and using their reputation to help other unfortunate Use synonyms
people
.
In conclusion, other Use synonyms
people
may argue that there is a large number of Use synonyms
people
living well without Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
writer believes that those are the richest Linking Words
people
in the world, so they do not need to Use synonyms
work
, and there is a larger number of Use synonyms
people
who are ordinary or even poor, so the answer is still certain that Use synonyms
people
have to Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
This
essay has enough pieces of evidence to prove the writer’s point of view.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure. To enhance it further, consider dividing some of the longer paragraphs into smaller ones to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and align with the arguments made in the body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally supported well, but additional concrete examples and more detailed evidence could strengthen your argument even further.
task achievement
Overall, you've provided a complete response to the task. To achieve a higher score, aim to delve deeper into the nuances of the topic, perhaps discussing the psychological or social aspects of work beyond just financial and survival needs.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. However, occasionally, the wording choices and sentence structures could be refined to improve flow and readability.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples, but integrating a wider variety of examples (such as statistical data or anecdotal evidence) could enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs and main points are smooth and logical, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by presenting a strong stance and supporting it with logical reasoning.
task achievement
The examples provided, though general, are relevant and help to substantiate your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example