IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries, the level of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? What can we deal with those causes?

#countries #level #crime
Criminals increase quickly in several countries around the world. There are many reasons for
this
 issue and
also
 possible solutions can be implemented. People have different inputs when they commit crimes.
Firstly
, they may not earn enough for living.
This
 is because of the high unemployment rate in some countries.
Secondly
, the limitation of education systems can lead to a higher chance of wrong judgement.
Therefore
, people who are not well educated may break rules of while they are not aware.
Finally
, violent or inappropriate movies
also
 affect youngster's mind, which might lead to the application of actions that they have seen films to real-life. With the reasons above, it is clear that there are many factors which lead to a higher crime rate. There are many possible solutions to reduce crime but the most effective one is education. By providing people with knowledge that help people to find jobs, they will have a better chance to earn for their living,
thus
 reducing crimes
such
 as thief or pickpocket.
Furthermore
, lessons about ethics and laws should be focused to educate young people about how they should behave and what the consequences of misbehaviour are. Teenagers may easily be affected by misleading media so they can learn bad things if there is not enough supervisor. To conclude, the main causes of high crime rate are unemployment, lack of knowledge and violent materials.
Therefore
, it seems like education is the most effective way to deal with
this
 in the long term.
Thus
, governments should implement plans to encourage people to learn to improve their knowledge.
Submitted by jeannguyen.ca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: