IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

“More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills.Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?”

#“more #parents #children #computers #tablets #technology #skills #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents often struggle with decisions that involve their children’s machinery access. While children must learn automation skills from playing on computers and tablets, there are potential risks to consider. Learning telecommunications skills can benefit children for a variety of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, For children younger than preschool age, electronic devices may help to stimulate the senses and imagination. Some user may help to promote listening ability, learning sounds, and speech.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Electronic devices and games may encourage cognitive learning and the development of analytical skills. It helps children build innovative thinking and investigation skills, strategic thinking, and creativity. .
Finally
Linking Words
, through technology, children have the means to broaden their horizons like never before. For these reasons and more, parents are increasingly allowing their children to play on computers and tablets.
However
Linking Words
,over-using technical knowledge hurts children. According to the American Optometric Association (AOA), the prolonged use of computers, tablets, and cellphones can lead to digital eye strain.
Besides
Linking Words
,neck-shoulder pain and low back pain rose during the 1990s at the same time that the use of information and communication high tech was increasing. mechanization in the bedroom can interfere with sleep in several ways. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 90 per cent of people in the United States say that they use tech devices in the hour before going to bed, which can be physiologically and psychologically stimulating enough to affect sleep. In conclusion, the pros and cons of children using automation must all come down to moderation Parents should realize that for all） the advantages, technological devices like computers and tablets can be harmful if they are overused.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: