IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #school #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some people that children at any
age
Use synonyms
 should be given extra responsibilities, while others disagree. In my opinion, I believe that there are advantages and disadvantages to both views. Some children can do whatsoever they want after school.
This
Linking Words
 means that they are able to unwind from an early
age
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it may help them to be more comfortable and relaxed, children will become irresponsible and lack self-discipline. They will waste their time watching TV or playing video games which later make them feel bored and unmotivated.
This
Linking Words
 level of freedom,
therefore
Linking Words
, may have a bad impact on children's development.
However
Linking Words
, when children are given responsibilities from an early
age
Use synonyms
, they would be able to teach themselves discipline and take credits for their action. Children who do chores at an early
age
Use synonyms
 will do the tasks carefully and diligently.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to their success in adulthood because they have already developed self-discipline.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the idea of giving children extra responsibilities may go too far. They may suffer from too much pressure, and their time to do homework may be replaced with doing chores or helping parents at work.
As a result
Linking Words
, these children may miss out on their education.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that when giving the children more responsibilities, one must consider wisely and sensibly. In conclusion, I agree that there are some pros to both approaches. Even though children need to relax and enjoy life, it is
also
Linking Words
 vital for them to balance their life by being responsible when necessary.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: