Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

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Many people in

this

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world contemplate that

money

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brings happiness in

life

Use synonyms

This

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essay gainsays with

this

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point of view and believes that

money

Use synonyms

is not indispensable to get mental peace.

This

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essay will confer about the two predominant factors, namely good, and

string

Correct your spelling

strong

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family bonding, which help a

person

Use synonyms

lead

life

Use synonyms

happily. One of the prominent reasons why

money

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is not paramount to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

a happy

person

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is that it cannot ensure the better health of an individual.

That is

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to say, health is wealth which cannot be gained through investing

money

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. If a

person

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is a millionaire and suffering from numerous

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

, he or she can never smile like a healthy

person

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Not to mention

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, that

person

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would surely want to give away his all assets in order to get a normal disease-free

life

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For instance

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, in 2010, An American squandered 100 crore

dollar

Fix the agreement mistake

dollars

show examples

to develop a medicine so that no virus or disease could harm him, and he could stay immortal and healthy. Another foremost point to consider is that without love, affection, trust, and honesty among family members, it is impossible to get inner peace and stay relaxed.

This

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is because a

person

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’s ultimate destination and prime priority is his or her family.

That is

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why when an individual does not get support, cooperation, and understanding attitude from other members of the family, that

person

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will surely suffer from depression even though he or she has innumerable wealth.

This

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can be illustrated by the fact that a Bollywood star who was one of the billionaires in India committed suicide in 2019 because his family did not trust his

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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words. In conclusion,

this

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essay is of the opinion that

money

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is not crucial in achieving happiness because staying healthy, and blessing with an understandable family are the topmost factors to bring happiness in

life

Use synonyms

shawlin90Tue Dec 15 2020

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the given prompt, but ensure that your introduction directly addresses the topic statement. Additionally, rephrase the thesis statement to be more direct and clearly state your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Make sure to include a concluding paragraph which summarizes your key points and restates your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitation
foundational
comfort
financial stability
pursue hobbies
passionate
fulfilling
satisfying
financial security
peace of mind
mental well-being
fostering
social connections
fulfillment
material possessions
lasting memories
satisfaction
diminishing returns
wealth
translate
significant

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Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Your opinion

One of the major problems that faces today's governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. what are advantage and disadvantage for both individual and companies to shopping online?

In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen? What can be done to attract more local people to visit places?