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Band 8

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the road. What are the causes of this, what solution can you suggest.

#cities #people #waste #hours #time #traffic #congestion #road
In megacities, city dweller's time is wasted each day
due to
 traffic jams on the streets. There are some reasons leading to
this
 issue and several suggestions to work
this
 matter out which
this
 essay is going to discuss. Undoubtedly, cities' infrastructures are planned in advance in which possible traffic and emergency situations are predicted. Given these circumstances, there are numerous automobiles every day which stuck on the streets and block the routing between avenues
due to
 the proliferation of cars population which derives from inadequate organization from the authorities. By way of illustration, they allow the car factories to produce as much as they can and do not eliminate the old ones from society.
Also
, another reason is tight and narrow paths which are ignored by the accountable persons and lead to congested places throughout the cities. In a nutshell, lack of organization leads to
such
 an important drawback. Ultimately, in order to facilitate the public's commuting some steps should be taken and some factors have to be considered.
For instance
, if the roadways were designed meticulously there would not be any issues or the result would be
otherwise
.
Therefore
, the first and foremost step has to be redesigning the city map including reforming the old structures and building modern ones, so that fewer cars will be stuck on the avenues.
In addition
, vehicle distribution needs to be carefully supervised meaning that there should be an equilibrium between entering new and exiting old automobiles into the metropolis.
Overall
, the structural sector
along with
 the amount of transport means has to be overwatched. In conclusion, we infer that populated cities are suffering from traffic jams and people's time is being wasted uselessly. there should be a new plan for the road conditions and the number of vehicles on the streets in order to deal with
this
 unwelcome matter.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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grammar
Consider incorporating more diverse sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
content
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or statistics to support your points.
grammar
Be mindful of minor typos and grammatical errors which can detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
structure
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear outline of your essay in the introduction.
structure
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs that logically progress from one idea to the next.
content
You've successfully addressed both parts of the question, discussing causes and offering solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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