In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?
The argument over the use of
animals
to provide food, medicine, and clothing has been ongoing for years. Some people consider the killing of animals
to produce food and other products
to be unnecessary. In my view, I agree with this
idea and will discuss several compelling reasons in this
essay. These days, we are faced with many public health challenges regarding poor health conditions, including cancer and heart disease, caused by excessive consumption of meat on a regular and long-term basis. Experts are calling for a change in human diets so that people can enjoy better health. Fortunately, many alternative meat products
are available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are being favoured by a growing number of people and can provide the same amount of nutrients for consumers. In particular
, mushrooms and tofu contain high levels of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably only found in meat, and can therefore
be used as a substitute. Furthermore
, medical experiments on animals
and medicines manufactured from animals
’ body parts received little endorsement in the past. Nowadays, herbs and many other types of plant-based medicines, such
as ginseng, can cure many diseases, prolong human life expectancy, and aid medical practitioners in the treatment of many illnesses. More seriously, thousands of wild animals
, such
as tigers and minks, are killed each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the fashion industry. There are now similar products
made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfil our needs. Animals
do not have to suffer for our needs anymore. In conclusion, I think that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of animals
and animal products
are no longer necessary. We can choose a different source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without any toll on wild animals
.Submitted by hnam7458 on
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task response
Your essay has a well-structured logical flow with a clear introduction and conclusion. You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples and arguments. However, there is some room for improvement in fully addressing all aspects of the task, particularly in providing a complete response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion with a clear logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are effectively supported with relevant examples. To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite